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The War of Missed Opportunities

Written by Belisaurius and Matthew Tobin
Last updated on 2005-07-03

This is the version of the war story PRIOR to the removal of pro-Unit 1 propaganda... that copy was lost when the first site got hacked.

The War of Missed Opportunities from the view of Unit 2

The Summary of Events of the Battle of Ho-Ho-Kus Ridge:

Defending Team: Myself, Jeremy, Jon, Adit (No nifty nicknames, sorry) Note: A fifth team member, David, was unable to attend due to illness.

Attacking Team: Nick, Ben, Paul, Evan (Their fifth team member couldn't show either)

In the beginning, it was decided between Nick and me that I would tell them when my team was set for the battle. So they waited around their home base while we prepared. For our base/HQ, I picked a crisscross of logs that formed a bunker and deposited our supplies there. We had a large number of water guns and water balloons, so everyone took their preferred gun and left the rest at HQ, while I split the water balloons into two crates. As a precaution in case of being overrun, I took around 20 balloons and put them in a green gardening wagon, which I put 10 yards behind HQ. Since in most cases we would not be able to use the brook to refill our guns, I had earlier filled more than a dozen bottles with water and put them in backpacks, so that we would be able to refill on the go. These preliminary steps complete, I set about setting up our positions.

Jon and I remained back at HQ to provide support, and Adit volunteered to be a support scout. I put Jeremy on outpost in a depression in the ground on the narrow end of the ridge. There, he would be able to observe both the main path and the beginnings of the ridge, as well as be able to fire upon both positions. This positioning complete, I met with Nick to begin the battle. Previously, I had asked for three minutes after the official beginning of the battle, to allow myself time to run back to my HQ without being attacked. I ran a short distance from the attacker's starting position, then found a concealed position and pulled out my binoculars. I was mainly interested in finding out if they were assembling a secret weapon they had been talking about, or if they were planning on crossing the brook to outflank us. Thankfully neither of which was happening, so I sneaked back to HQ and got my water gun.

For some reason, the attackers seemed not have had a decent attack strategy, but rather began strolling up the main path. Evan and Ben had a different idea though, and they quietly climbed the ridge and began to creep down the crest of the ridge toward HQ. Fortunately Jeremy (Who I had instructed just to fire off a couple of shots and then retreat) held his ground and surprised and shot them both, forcing them to return to their base to change shirts.

This action halted the entire enemy advance in its tracks. Adit began to harass them with water balloon and water gun fire, who was soon joined by Jeremy. Jon and I came down the ridge path to the main path with more water balloons, and together we pinned the attacking force to the point at which their advance had been halted. The attackers at this point became very confused, and the few hesitant attacks that were quickly repelled, combined with our taunting, thoroughly disorganized them. Our volleys of water balloons, while not particularly accurate, were miserable for the would-be attackers and one water balloon, no matter how poorly thrown, would make them all duck. Our volleys, made considerably easier by Adit bringing a crate of them down from the ridge, actually managed to score some hits, and knocked Evan out permanently. However, our excellent defense was beginning to crumble, mostly because of a combination of over-confidence and stupidity.

Jon decided, without my permission, to launch a suicidal bonsai charge, but did manage to score a hit or two before being knocked out. Then Adit, in one of his numerous countercharges, carried the charge a little too far and was knocked out. That left just Jeremy and me to guard the entire MLR (Main Line of Resistance), and we were separated, with me on the ridge and Jeremy on the main path. Deciding to retreat up the ridge path before the attackers could gain some momentum for their offense, I ran back up to HQ, while Jeremy frantically tried to hold them back on the main path. I decided that it would be impossible to defend HQ; I would just end up knocked out. So I grabbed the wagonload of water balloons I had set aside earlier, along with a bag of water and a water gun, and ran from the base back along the ridge just as two of the attackers entered HQ from the other direction. Apparently not sure what I was doing, they didn't attempt to shoot at or follow me in any way, so I took the opportunity to escape.

I kept running along the ridge path until it rejoined the main path, then jumped into the brook and began to make my way across to an area farther upstream where the banks had been supported by thick stone walls that provided ideal fortifications. I was half way across when Jeremy came running down the main path, so I called out to him and showed him where to enter the brook. Thankfully, the cart of water balloons was floating like a boat, so I didn't have to worry about it sinking. About 30 seconds later, Nick, Ben, and Paul showed up and began to shoot at me in the water. I was almost to the bank opposite them, so I was out of range, but I was worried about Jeremy, who had only just begun to cross. However, he had seen what was going on, and got out of their range before they noticed them. When we were both across, I checked out our position.

We were behind a solid stone bank, identical to the one the attackers were standing on now. The two banks were just out of water gun shot, but Jeremy could just about get a water balloon across, so the attackers retreated a step or two. After firing a few blasts at us, Ben attempted to cross the brook on a log set between the two banks, but a few water balloons and a burst from my water gun sent him tumbling back onto his own bank. We just stood on our respective banks, exchanging taunts and futile water gun fire, and I wondered why they didn't try and cross the brook farther up or downstream and outflank us.

Eventually, both teams realized that this was growing rather pointless and decided upon a stalemate. So the battle of Ho-Ho-Kus Ridge ended in the usual Ridgewood anticlimax.

Matthew Tobin, CO of the Defending Team

The Battle from the view of Unit 1, Attacking team, Waterbridge

At first we collected in our main base, where I organized Unit 1 into 2 sub groups, Ben and Evan and Paul and I. While I waited for Matt to set up, I took out one of the maps of the battle area, and discussed strategy. After briefly considering crossing to the far side of the river, I decided we would fight them on their side of the river. This automatically ruled our secret weapon out. However, when we did begin to move out, I discovered that Matt was being more offensive than I'd anticipated and I was content to let him throw his unit up against mine. I believed that we had a superior arsenal, and I didn't forsee any need to do otherwise. Evan took Ben and, exasperated by a lack of strategy, he attacked Jeremy on the bluff overlooking the path, meeting stiff resistance from Jeremy, and did not have the manpower to break through the other team's line.

Adit was coming up the river, and Paul and I had to refill under fire, because our weapons guzzled water. At this point, had Matt push forward, he could have crushed the offense and secured a victory for the defense. I called to Evan, trying to get him to fall back to cover us, and decided just to fill to half tank, since it took less time. Paul and I both began to fire on Matt's troops, and Evan and Ben, who had been hit, had to fall back to put a new shirt on. Paul and I were caught along the riverbank, with the river on our left. We were taking fire from the front and the right, and had barely finished refilling when Evan and Ben had been knocked out. Luckily, Paul and I managed to dodge the defender's harrassment until Evan and Ben arrived, at which point we began to push forward. Reaching a split in the trail, we took cover behind several large trees and traded fire with the other team. I was knocked out by a stray water balloon, and we were pushed back yet again when Evan was permanently eliminated. By this point in time, however, we had begun to fall into step; it wasn't quiet so hard to advance, since everyone now had enough experience to understand what not to do. We knocked out Jon and Adit when they tried to attack us, at which point we picked up our pace to a run.

As I reached the defending team's HQ, I saw Matt running down the bluff. I decided not to follow him, as Ben needed help fighting Jeremy on the path below me. Grabbing supplies from the enemy base, Ben and I reached the stone walled banks in time to see Matt crossing to the other side. Paul, who had been bringing up the rear, now joined us. I decided that since it was getting rather late, I would not try to cross the river further downstream. A few waterballoons and a couple hodge podge shots later, it was generally decided that the battle had drawn to a close, considering that Jeremy would have to leave in a few minutes and that neither side was making any headway. So ended the second water war of Waterbridge.

Nicholas Mayr, CO of the Attacking Team

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